the announcement

i would first like to say wow to the fact that i have now posted over 500 posts...wow. and this one will probably be a long one. so PLEASE, if nothing else, skip to the end and answer my one question for me!

second, amanda reminded me that i never posted my husband pregnancy announcement. and that is a memory i'd like to have down so here we go! (warning: feminine things ahead)

first off, i just have to say (again) that this was a big surprise. for those of you who follow, you know we've only been married since the beginning of july. in the last doctors appointment, they pinned down the conception to somewhere in the first week of our marriage. that blows my mind for a couple of reasons, one including something we can call "woman things" that i won't announce but you may use your brain and figure that one out. yes, very sad on your honeymoon but what can ya do?

SO a few weeks pass by and this lady became pretty emotional. abnormally so...plus constantly tired SO little thoughts were going through my head. after i was "late" i decided to take a little test, which was negative.

a couple days pass, i'm sitting at work and my husband comes up to me and says "so...i think you are pregnant. i can feel it." that's when my mind knew. i somehow knew he was right. but i just kept waiting. i think that was a wednesday or a thursday because that friday was the day which i wasn't planning on, but my landlord talked me into it. - i call her a landlord but she's a really close friend and a coworker of mine. - because we both get off work an hour and a half before matt, she gives me rides home. very convenient since we live in her basement. i seriously love love this woman, her and her husband were put right in our path at this time of our lives because the Lord just knew we would need them. i can write a book about the blessings they are in our lives but i won't...

anyway, we are driving home and i tell her of our suspicions and my symptoms and she was sure i was pregnant and offered me a pregnancy test. those guys are expensive so i took it, matt wasn't going to be home for an hour.

...i fully expected it to be negative. i set it down in the bathroom as i went out to make dinner and give it it's chance to produce an answer. i'll never forget the feelings that took over when i saw that plus sign. at first i didn't believe it, then i started shaking. complete shock took over and then tears of excitement came. i remember falling on my knees because all i could think to do in that moment was say a prayer. i had told linda (the landlord) if i was pregnant, she would know because i'd need someone to freak out to when i saw that positive pee stick. i walked up the stairs and just couldn't stop crying as i'm holding out the stick for her to see. she just kept hugging me and when i calmed down she helped me plan my announcement for when matt got home. (don't worry, he wasn't upset to not be the first to know.)

matt had been (and still is) on this thai food kick, so i really really wanted to do my thing while we were at his favorite restaurant but we were just too poor to go out. so since i was already making teriyaki chicken and figured fortune cookies went well with that, i started a homemade batch! they FAILED! fail fail fail...(has anyone ever seriously succeeded at that??)

 so at this point matt's going to be home within the next 20 minutes...linda comes down to see how it's going and runs upstairs and calls a bunch of different restaurants to see if we could buy a couple fortune cookies. we decided to run to the grocery store and get a bag and then we'd use tweezers to pull out the fortunes and replace them with slips of paper that said "you are going to be a daddy".

we go to get in the car and MATT PULLS UP!! so i covered up with "i was helping her carry some things to the car". we went inside while linda ran to the store for me because she is an angel. when she got home she sent one of the girls down to get me, i went upstairs and we did the switch. surprisingly enough when i told matt that they randomly gave us some fortune cookies, he didn't think anything of it. but it did take forever for him to finally start eating one of those guys!

he just bit right into it and i waited...i looked over there and said..."um where is your fortune?" ..."it didn't have one."... " that's weird..." cuz i just put one in there. i just waited til he realized he was eating it, which he eventually did, pulled out the non-eaten half and i waited to see his face. he said all he saw was the word "daddy" and he knew what it was. he just turned to look at me and seriously didn't move for at least a whole 60 seconds. i was laughing and i pulled out the pee stick (which i will not show you a picture of) and he still kept staring. finally the tiny tears started...i couldn't figure out which emotion was going on inside of him but i'll always remember that face. it sits in my memory right next to his face when i looked up from the engagement ring box sitting in from of me on april fools day. 

how did you announce your pregnancy!?

do you believe in the great pumpkin?

today is the day. i'm slightly bummed we live in a backyard entrance apartment because we won't get to hand out candy tonight. but it saves us quite a bit of money soooo i think i'll be ok.

everyone at work is having their families and kids in today all dressed up and they are going to be trick or treating to our desks. that give me something to snack on, no complaints there! all this sugar is making my stomach feel like it's popping popcorn. either baby has some pretty strong hiccups or else he/she is just kicking away! i'm surprised i can feel it so soon, i'm loving it.

if i were home, dad would be setting up his firepit in the front yard and making lanterns out of little brown paper bags. mom is making taco soup and getting the little sisters all ready to go out. i miss halloween at home, but it's fun spending this first one with my new husband even if all he wanted to be was a football player. i can accept that.

do you have any halloween traditions?



a baby post

people always ask what i think the baby is...until this last month i had not a clue. to be honest i still have no clue BUT in my dreams she is always a girl. with lots of dark hair. so i guess we will see, right? i would like to see today...but noooo, even though they could tell me i still have to wait another month.

i have made some decisions. although the only baby paraphernalia we have in our home so far is a baby calendar from my sister and as of yesterday, like 10 packs of newborn diapers. thank you baby Jace for growing out of them so quickly!

so if the baby IS a girl, i was going to steer soooo clear of pink. BUT i will make an exception since i have decided to decorate ballerina style. oh my goodness i can just picture it now, i can feel nesting starting to creep into my life and i can't wait to have the time to clear out what will soon become babies room.

look at these adorable things i've found! (as a side note i would like to state that no, i will not force my child to actually be a ballerina is she does not want to.)

SOCKS!!! aren't those precious??



of course i have to be equally excited about a boy because i would be in love with him! i would be the proudest mommy ever, and of course after having 5 daughters, i think my dad would be just thrilled to have a grandson. so i've got plenty of ideas there as well. i've gone through them all, and who knows what it will end up being in 5 months BUT for now i'm stuck on a "starry starry night" theme...

have you heard of these little guys?? the whole shell lights up and puts constellations on babies ceiling. i think even with a girl, i'd get one! especially if there is a "nightlight" stage. there ya go!

 i would make it more "boy" and add lots of deep colors. i just love that crib, but we have ours already and it's a deep cherry wood. luckily i love it too, we just have to go get it and set it up!

oh! you have quilting skills? yes you may make this for me!

already have this! just need to frame it and hang it!

i'm in love with this stroller wheather it's a boy or a girl! i want it!!

and either way, no matter WHAT, i WILL have a nice big comfy rocking chair:

(anyone recognize that picture? haha it's a friends house and i saw that chair and fell in LOVE with it!!

-where did you get it??)

i am giving up for you

when i got divorced i discovered a favorite song by ingrid michaelson, i kind of used it as a guide in dating and in making that final decision of marrying again. sometimes i wonder if people hear the same meaning as me.

we've all been there-you get a new boyfriend, he's SO perfect! even his flaws are adorable and make him so much better to you! so many people make the mistake of letting go of that once they are married. should it not be the opposite? to make a relationship work, we need to look for even more good in our partner than we did while dating.

we all struggle with it, we can all be better. i am far from perfect, but this song reminds me of what's really important. what if we do fight? what if i'm not all you have built me up to be in your head? what if i don't always do the dishes and keep our home clean 24/7?

then of course we look at it on the other end-what if there is a time he feels he loves me more than i love him? what if he makes mistakes? what if he folds his towel the "wrong" way?

real love is accepting someone for who they really are no matter what comes. for richer or for poorer. through sickness and health. are you willing to stick it out til the end and love it no matter what? that is what marriage is about.

giving up by ingrid michaelson

What if we stop having a ball?
What if the paint chips from the wall?
What if there's always cups in the sink?
What if I'm not what you think I am?

What if I fall further than you?
What if you dream of somebody new?
What if I never let you win, chase you with a rolling pin?
Well what if I do?

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

What if our baby comes home after nine?
What it your eyes close before mine?
What if you lose yourself sometimes? Then I'll be the one to find you
Safe in my heart

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

I am giving up
I am giving up
I am giving up on greener grasses

I am giving up for you
I am giving up for you
I am giving up

If you want to listen go HERE

pics from weheartit

chilly winter favorites

can we please take a moment and talke about this gorgeous chilly weather and how much i love it? i'm sorry for you beach/summer lovers that don't like changing seasons, but i'm IN LOVE with this!!

i love soups! esspecially chili, delicious chili with NO BEANS...mmmm

i love scarves, hats, and gloves!!!

i love lots of heavy blankets at night!!

i love snowflakes!! such beautiful artwork in every single one

i love driving around to see the twinkle lights up everywhere!

i love maternity winter clothes! so excited about this

(pics from weheart it and google)

FAST LANE

I recently received a comment that made me laugh out loud. He said "Your life just seems to be in the fast lane lately." ohhhhh mannnn how I've been thinking about that...life has sure thrown me some crazy ones but I think I've done a pretty darn good job at handling them and making the best out of things....for the most part...but just to clarify, that didn't offend me whatsoever!

An unexpected pregnancy for sure threw our plans in a loop, but we got to change them to other super exciting plans. We've been so incredibly blessed so far, we have been offered 2 cribs already (one is now going to my sister and her husband), a highchair, and a changing table. To a poor newlywed, I feel like I'm in heaven.

This last weekend we had a tiny pregnancy scare which resulted in a 3 day skip from work where I was bored at home watching movies all day long. One can only handle so much of that. I pray I never get put on bed rest! BUT the good that came from this, we got to see our little one! And I was relieved to see there is just ONE...the cutest thing I've ever seen.  You've seen ultra sound pictures but it's a complete new experience to know that it's inside of YOU and that is YOUR baby. Unreal. I was glad to see so much movement in there and to hear that everything was perfect.

FINALLY, like a miracle, I'm not feeling so gross anymore. It could be because of the new medication the doctor gave me, but I don't care! I have been eating so many more things and kissing my husband! SSSOOOOO grateful to feel human...for now!

today...

today i stole a post idea from a favorite, & this is what she said. it was nice to think about these things and where i am right now...thanks rasha. (plus some random picture love)

developing ...stonger stomach reflexes as my morning sickness starts to fade...

accepting
...the possibility that my child might end up just like me...oh dear (mom will just love that)

sending
...my husband to get us lunch, i think it is a chick-fil-A day...again...

writing
...my lifes journey in the good old blog, so grateful for electronic journals!

wearing
...ridiculously comfy black dress pants and a comfy top. i heart maternity clothes.

lamenting
...the money now gone to the bills i just paid today, one day i'll be debt free!

enjoying
...this beautiful weather and the christmas music that may possibly be on right now...

dreaming
...of the small possibility i'll get to visit home this christmas. i pray everyday it will happen!

returning
...to the bathroom every half hour. there isn't even anything big enough pressing on my bladder yet! tmi?

celebrating
...halloween! going to get our costumes tomorrow...annnnnd let's be honest..i'm celebrating christmas right now as well...

planning
...on being a new mommy...how in the world i'm going to do it, i don't know. we learn as we go right?

embracing ...the child inside of me...apparently about the size of a big shrimp now...

drinking
...HA! my body has now gone back to just water, i wonder what will be next.

loving
...the free dinner we get tonight in midway... all you can eat steak (and salmon-BLECH), company parties are always interesting...

What have you been up too?

 (pic from wehearit)

warm chocolate

liquids have not been so good to me. but for some reason if i drink warm hot chocolate made with WATER than i am just fine. i guess i'm ok with that!

i don't think i'd be able to keep down the hot chocolate from Lviv...

pregnant happiness

my entire being and person has been changed completely. i don't even like chocolate! (except riesen's for some reason)
all smells make me very sensitive. i cry at everything. my body is getting bigger everywhere. i HAVE to eat but i don't want anything. at all. so i think it's a good time to make a list of what is making me happy right now. and when i say "right now", i literally mean in this moment, in this minute, in this second of time. because it will probably be completely different in about an hour.

pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin! tis the season and yet i haven't had anything with pumpkin yet! i crave a slice of great harvest pumpkin chocolate chip bread every single day. the norm is for me to crave, crave, crave, then i over eat in that one moment and can never even look at that one thing again. at least for the food, that is. (bbq salads, enchilada casserole, green beans, anything from olive garden, any soda, and now candy corn.)

fresh apples and peaches. i'm lucky so far to not be sick of these, my boss brings me one every morning straight from his yard. every once in a while i have to toss it but on good days they are juicy and perfect!!!



when my house is chilly. i still sleep with a fan and since we were able to find the screens to our windows i keep them open 24/7, until last night when it snowed it was so cold. this started because the smell of my home made me sick and i love the fresh air.

candles. i have to light them while i'm home. they help take away the "house" smell plus get me all ready for the fall and winter. but now it's time to get new ones.

new movies. every day my mood is different but if i can find a good one, a movie makes my entire day. especially curled up in a blanket with kettle corn, even though i've only had regular popcorn, but it's been good to me so far!

THE WEEKENDS!!! when i get to sleep in, i love my life. i take a unisom before bed to keep the nausea away and it's always so nice to be able to sleep it ALL off. prying myself out of bed for work every morning is so hard, but so worth not being sick. luckily i'll be done with it really soon, i'm just scared of testing it out to see if i'm still sick...but the weekends mean i don't have to take my meds til later which means i don't start feeling sick til later in the evening the next day...ohhhh i love modern medicine!



and finally, i love love curly girl design (still) and i found my new favorite one that is currently residing as my fb profile picture, as well as some other favorites:

(pics from google)

help me be

i think most everyone loves the christmas song "breath of heaven", my favorite version is by Amy Grant::

with the new chilly weather (and the snow that came this morning) i've been listening to christmas music-don't judge, i am not ashamed!-and this is one i can listen to over and over again. the song alone gives such a good picture of what it may have been like for Mary carrying her child, what she may have been thinking, and i can't help but think of what an incredible woman she had to have been.

i never expected the difficulties i've already faced. you hear storied, you are told what to expect but you never really know until you are there. i couldn't imagine riding a donkey for miles and miles, my chair at work gives me pains already! today we have medications that take away morning sickness, and i'll tell you something, i had it bad! to have to go through that sickness as bad as i had it with no medication is unbelievable, but it was done all the time back then! we are spoiled today. and i am grateful. i am grateful for such an incredible example and i need to try to be tougher, to be stronger, and more thankful for this incredible journey.

that is my goal for the next 6 months.

Breath of Heaven

I have traveled many moonless night
Cold and weary, with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, you have come
And chosen me now
To carry your son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now
Be with me now

Breath of heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of heaven
Breath of heaven
Light up my darkness
Pour over me your holiness
For you are holy

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one one should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me

pics from google

unexpected surprises bring unexpected joy

a stork has built his nest right outside our front door. according to brittany that must mean our family will be expanding soon.

sometime this coming late april we are going to be taking the adventure of a lifetime and have ourselves a little one!

through my excitement and trying to keep it quite til the risky stage passes i have researched like crazy, found a fabulous doctor, and planned out the next year of our lives as a tiny family. it's gonna be awesome.